You did it. You went out, you socialized, you made words come out of your mouth at (mostly) appropriate times. Maybe you even laughed, made eye contact like a functioning human, and didn’t trip over your own feet. A win!

…Or so you thought.

Because now, as you sit in the safety of your car or collapse onto your couch, THE SPIRAL begins. Your brain, that drama-loving gremlin, suddenly remembers every conversation you had and decides, Hey, let’s analyze this like it’s the Zapruder film!

Did you talk too much? Too little. Did you accidentally interrupt someone? Was that joke actually funny, or did everyone just do the polite laugh? WAIT - did you overshare?? Are they all in a group chat right now discussing your weirdness???

STEP ONE: Reality Check (because your brain is lying to you)

First of all, let’s get one thing straight (and say it with me): NO ONE IS THINKING ABOUT YOU AS MUCH YOU THINK THEY ARE.

Seriously. Most people are too busy worrying about their own social blunders to remember yours. You could have sung the alphabet mid-conversation, and odds are, they’d forget by breakfast.

Important Questions to Ask Yourself:

• Did anyone visibly recoil in horror while talking to you? No? Then you’re fine.

• Did the event end with someone standing on a table declaring you banned from all future gatherings? No? Great news - you were normal enough!

• Can you actually remember saying something horrible, or does your brain just have vague “I was embarrassing” energy? If it’s the latter, your anxiety is making things up like a bad tabloid. “Fake News” as we call it.

STEP TWO: Telling Your Brain to Calm Down

Now that we’ve established that you did not, in fact, single-handedly ruin the event, let’s talk about breaking the spiral:

• Name the Spiral: Instead of letting it consume you, just call it out. “Oh, there’s my brain doing its post-social anxiety thing again. CLASSIC.”

• Distract Yourself: Your brain is like a toddler - if you don’t give it something else to focus on, it’ll keep playing with dangerous things (aka, your self-esteem). Watch some Netflix, listen to some Taylor Swift (or Rob Zombie, whatever you’re feeling at the moment), scroll some TikTok, or play some Fortnite.

• Reframe It: If a friend told you they were spiraling over social awkwardness, you’d reassure them, right? So give yourself the same kindness. If you DID say something weird, so what? Being a little weird is called HAVING A PERSONALITY!!!

• Take Care of Yourself: Socializing is exhausting, especially when you’re neurospicy. Drink water, eat something, wrap yourself in a blanket burrito, and remember - you did something BRAVE today!

STEP THREE: Moving On Like the Icon You Are

Next time THE SPIRAL comes knocking, remind yourself: 99% of the time, you were fine! And even if you weren’t? Life is too short to worry about whether Janet from accounting thought your joke about raccoons was too niche.

So go forth my neurospicy friends! Recharge and remember: YOUR BRAIN IS A LIAR, BUT YOU? YOU ARE A DELIGHT!